Listeners diary: This is not okay…not normal

I met and sat before a familiar face, perhaps my best memories of her is quiet, intelligent, kind, good hearted and beautiful. I listened to her story.

What is before me seemed to be drained of life. Devoid of joy, confused, lost and disoriented. Hungry for a place to fully express without being interrupted and judge.

In her five years of marriage, she has reap words so demeaning and deprecating she has lost her sense of value and intelligence. The words she received from her husband I never imagine would be uttered to her. The words are so verbally and mentally abusive. This is not okay, this is not normal in marriage specially for a husband who claims of faith in Christ and know the scripture.

Bible verses weaponize against her wife. This is not okay, and will never be okay.

Using God and faith to manipulate a wife, in order for his wishes to be fulfilled. This is not okay and never okay. This is not normal!

Not allowing your wife not to talk to pastors, people that can guide marriage and be part of a community. This is not okay.

Blaming the wife for his misfortunes is not okay. This guy is not taking ownership!

She wonders if this marriage is normal. I said, this is not okay and this is not normal.

The wife is a victim of an abusive relationship.

But here’s the thing, the husband was raised up by a single mom, who also weaponize the scriptures as he was raised up. This too was not and never okay.

The husband grew up in environment, that is very controlling, lacking of praise and filled with correction.

The husband is also a victim.

But this cycle has to stop, at least that’s what I think.


Thoughts from this:

The Bible is not meant to be weaponize to attack and manipulate others. This does not give glory to God and not reflective of His good character.

Sadly, not all who goes to church, nor who knows the bible and every verse does not necessarily equate with being intimate with God and a disciple.

While every believer is not expected to be perfect, our journey in faith is inescapable of gospel transformation. That changes our hearts and behavior reflective of Jesus Christ’s along the process.

What are your thoughts?

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